I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
