I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Congratulations! We have a period
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