alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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