I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
