don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
