she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
