just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
