I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
