mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Even my vagina gasped.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
