I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize