Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
