Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
