Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
