New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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