You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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