The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
