i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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