It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
