I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I intend to get homeless drunk
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
