Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
