What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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