quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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