I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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