the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
