It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
