I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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