I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Randomize
