Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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