whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize