There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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