An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
All I want is dick and wine.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
