we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
