My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
