Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
