can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
