you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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