it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
