suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
