And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I don't want my vagina anymore.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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