he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
