either way he was missing a nipple.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
