I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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