Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
