Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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