She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
