Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
