I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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