it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize