i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The air was thick with penises
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
