I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
