am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Randomize
