He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i think i just lost a toe
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
