having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
