omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
