He had one of those small greek statue penises
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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