a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
