We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
