Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
